Oh deary deary me
I won't take sides, I'll be on my own in the middle. I'll hand out the handbags, pop the corn and make sure we can all see the screen and that the sound's working ok. And make sure the older ones have cushions to sit on. I've got the seat closest to the toilet, I always have the seat closest to the toilet. It's the war wound.
Then I turn the old thing on (television), switch to channel three and we can all hum along to the theme tune and ratter in our best Manchesterian voices. Duuuu duu du da da duuuuuu, duuuu du du da da duuuuu.
Then afterwards we can have a friendly game of Counter-my-stroke, with two friendly teams being friendly to each other
FADE TO:
INT. DOGBOX'S FORUMS - NIGHT
SPUTTY (cont.)
(Stella in hand, grinning for no reason)
Who sets the rules? What rules were we following? We were on a Barrysworld server and obeyed their rules (probably ... not sure I've read them
but we didn't break the server so that's a start ). And we were in a game booked by our very own Mach (stand up Mach). (Sit down Mach). Following Mach's rules (not read them either, but I'll agree with them cos otherwise I'd ahve to leave). If Mach's rules are "shut up and play a bit o' Counter-my-stroke", then I'll shut up and counter my strokes quietly in the corner, or preferably all together, countering each other's strokes ... or something. Anyone for a biscuit? Or if Mach's rules are "buckle up gentlepeople, I'm restarting the game" then I put on my Thomas The Tank Engine battle armour and get restarted.
We wern't playing in an organised league, we were playing at the mercy of Mach-man on a server he booked for DVF. We were there for a friendly game. When everyone was there and we'd warmed up, we changed map ... which I thought was perfectly adequate, but it became apparent that only the winning side is happy with the chairs on which they sit. Would abfab have stayed quiet had they been winning? I dunno, that's why i asked
When Mach said "no restart, boyos" that meant the rules of the game we were playing were "no restart, boyos" not the rules some league may use. If someone doesn't like the rules he can either play discontented, or leave. And after a boil to the former, we had a simmer for five minutes with the latter. Then we poored off the water and enjoyed the cooked carrots (no salt, don't like salt). We had a decent game
).
I haven't made any enemies or anything remotely like that in the last twenty-four-plus-a-couple hours, and I'm sure noone else round this table has. (Enemies are bad to have: "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" a very wise film character once said, and frankly my friends smell so unpleasant that if i had enemies, I'd have to amputate my nose). Expectations differed, attidudes towards conflicting opinions were less than fluffy, and thus some of us decided to run away and enjoy life in another place, leaving those who wanted to stay to enjoy a nice friendly (friendly) game.
FADE TO BLACK.
FADE THE FEK BACK IN AGAIN:
SPUTTY (cont. ... still)
(scratching his head)
Now who pinched mah Stella while I was typing???
FADE TO PINK.
It was clear that abfab wanted a game that would be the same as a league match i.e. 6 players a side etc. The fact that someone from DVF couldn't be arsed to do a restart to officially begin the MATCH is our cock up and we should just take it on the chin.
