Important Health Information

Post by sm » Mon Jan 26, 2004 6:41 pm

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your
heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the
life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat
chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass, a green leafy vegetable.
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
vegetable slop.

Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As
we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three
categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine
are not animal or mineral, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice:
Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have the weight of two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.,

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. How
could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should
only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans .. another vegetable!!!
"It's the best feel-good food around!"

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food , exercise, and diets. Have a cookie...

One more thing...

"When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt."

I got this emailed to me by a friend so I have no idea how new/old it is.

OddEyePrime · Post by **OddEyePrime** » Mon Jan 26, 2004 7:37 pm

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your
heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the
life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

When you have a stronger heart your resting heart rate is less, same with exercise, the stronger your heart the lower your heart rate is when you exercise and the quicker your heart returns to resting rate.

Post by **Barracuda** » Mon Jan 26, 2004 7:38 pm

OddEyePrime wrote:Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your
heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the
life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

When you have a stronger heart your resting heart rate is less, same with exercise, the stronger your heart the lower your heart rate is when you exercise and the quicker your heart returns to resting rate.

Some people don't understand the word JOKE

Post by **Me Too** » Mon Jan 26, 2004 7:44 pm

i·ro·ny
1.

The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.

An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.

A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect. See Synonyms at wit1.

Are you SURE you aren't American?

OddEyePrime · Post by **OddEyePrime** » Mon Jan 26, 2004 7:48 pm

No, I'm not American just talking on the phone and not paying attention to what I'm reading or writting.

Post by **Woz** » Tue Jan 27, 2004 12:00 am

He's right though - you're risking people's lives with this sort of misinformation.

I've a good mind to write to BBC's Watchdog about your so-called 'dietry advice'

I'd thank you to do more research before posting this sort of thing in future.

Post by sm » Tue Jan 27, 2004 9:12 am

Sorry.

Post by **Me Too** » Tue Jan 27, 2004 11:16 am

Recognising irony is truly dead

RIP.

Post by **Woz** » Tue Jan 27, 2004 11:38 am